Instant Photos From Hawaii, Jan 18

So, in January of this year I went to Hawaii. (I stayed on Oahu for the duration of the trip which was around two weeks.) Hawaii is one of my favourite places in the whole world. It’s so relaxed and awesome. I have been three times including the most recent trip.

Anyhow, on the most recent trip I took a whole lot of pictures on an instant film camera I have, I got it as a gift when I was around 14 or 15. They aren’t the best pictures in the world, but I really loved taking them and I’ve got a lot of good memories of them. So without further ado, I shall share them.

This is probably going to be a rather lengthy post, so please bear with me. Or, y’know, if you can’t be bothered don’t look at the rest. Whatever floats your boat really.

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This one was taken around Manoa Falls. It’s one of my favourite pictures that I have taken.
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This was the same mountain as the picture above, but from lower down in the hills.
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This was of Manoa Falls. It was a real trek to get there because it had rained earlier and the ground was really slippery and muddy. Everyone I was there with pretty much slipped at least once. Except for me, thanks to my trusty Doc Martens that have been going strong for about 3 years now.
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This picture was actually my brother’s idea. I probably wouldn’t have taken it but he told me to. It turned out rather nice.
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This was also near Manoa Falls. It was really cool, further up that street there was a shitload of chickens just walking around.
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This building caught my eye ‘cos it was bright blue.
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This boat is super cute. Growing up I always disliked the colour yellow for some reason, but I really like it now. Whenever I look at this picture I get the song ‘Yellow Submarine’ by the Beatles stuck in my head. I am well aware that this is not a submarine, but hey. It’s yellow and it’s on the water. Close enough?
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There’s a lot of black circles on this picture, not sure what happened there. But it’s one of my favourites too. This shop looked super awesome. I also love the parking meter. The ones where I live are pretty lame looking.
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This is definitely one of my favourites. In the foreground is my brother. The little boy in the blue shirt was running from the waves and it was a super cute moment. One of those moments where you stop and realise how beautiful the world is and how cool it is to be alive. I love when that happens.
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This was taken on the same day as the picture above. That beach from the picture is off to the right, it’s a bit overexposed so you can’t really make it out. The path on the left was really rocky and I didn’t have my shoes on so it was a pain in the arse to walk back to the car. It was a beautiful road though.
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This was at a really pretty lookout. Of course, I didn’t take one of the lookout. I took one of the road. But trust me, it was nice.
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We drove a bloody long way to get to the Hukilau. So worth it. The food was amazing, I got a Loco Moco.
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This is probably my favourite out of the lot. I really love it. I wish I knew where this was, but it was just somewhere we pulled over during a road trip around the island.
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The quality is dreadful, as it is with most of these pictures. I initially felt meh about this picture but it has grown on me. I’m rather fond of it now.
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I like to call this one the rough hangover. This picture might be really gross to some people. It smelt bloody horrific and flies were all over the place. You can’t see ’em in the shot. But I thought it was sort of funny in a way. Poor fish. Wonder what happened to them.

Well, that brings us to the end of this post. Hopefully some of you enjoy these pictures as much as I enjoyed taking them.

Until next time,

K.

People Aren’t Answers.

People aren’t answers to anything. I’ve learned this recently. It’s easy to think they can be if you haven’t spoken to them in a while. You’re going through something tough or you’re feeling a little blue and your imagination runs wild. You think back to the way things were or you construct a false future in which things are different – better. You think you’ve got clarity, that one person is simply the answer. You just need to find them again and everything will be better.

And then you run into them again and chat for a while. You realise that things have changed – or maybe the problem is that they haven’t. You’re awake to the reality of the situation now but you wish you could keep pretending. It was easier that way.

The narrative you’ve built inside your head falls apart and you’re left feeling completely and utterly lost. You’re disappointed but only in yourself for having these expectations in the first place. And once you realise that they aren’t the answer you’re back at square one, wondering where the hell to go from here.

People aren’t answers. I know it’s easy to think they can be. But if you go on thinking someone is the answer for too long you’ll end up with a hell of a lot more questions than you ever had to begin with.

2nd Roll of 35mm Film. March 2018

I’m pretty proud of these pictures if I do say so myself. All of the ones I took actually showed up (albeit a lot were blurry) but I managed to get some rather nice photos.

So, let’s take a look:

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This one is still pretty blurry. But I like the colours. This was taken at a bus stop I used to go to almost every day for 2 years. I don’t come here as often now, only about once a week.
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I really like the lighting and the detail in this one.
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This one is of my brother. He’s playing my telecaster. I like the lighting here too, especially on the guitar. Also, it’s pretty cool that you can see his reflection in the mirror.
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The quality of this one isn’t the best but I still think it looks pretty cool. I like ’70’s punk music, so I had to get the book in the shot.
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This one has some weird light leaks. It’s still a nice picture. This is my street. The brick wall on the left is part of my house.

Anyways, there ya have it!

They aren’t the best photos on the block but I think they look alright for my second roll.

Catch ya later,

K.

People Who Want to be in Your Life Will Be

This is something I have been thinking about a lot in recent weeks. Maybe even months. It’s something I wish I could have told myself when I was younger and something I want to tell my friends when they aren’t being treated the way they deserve to be treated.

The bottom line, plain and simple is this: if someone truly cares about you and wants to be in your life, they will make an effort. They will try to be in your life.

It has taken me an extremely long time to realise this. I sort of had an epiphany about it the other day.

I used to always make excuses for people. I say ‘used to’ as if it was a long time ago, but who am I kidding, I was doing this a few weeks ago. I suppose because I didn’t want to face or accept the fact that they just didn’t care as much as I did. I would convince myself that the person – be it a friend or someone I was romantically interested in – was completely and utterly irreplaceable and that I would never ever find someone like them again in my life.

Guess what. That’s bullshit.

Sure, everyone is unique. You won’t find someone the exact same as them. And if they aren’t treating you that well it’s probably a good thing. But it doesn’t mean you won’t find someone like them ever again, with some of the same good qualities.

Now, I’m sure we’ve all heard that “there’s plenty of fish in the sea” saying. I hated that one. After the end of a relationship about a year ago, whenever I heard that I’d angrily think ‘Yeah, but he was my fish. I don’t want another damn fish.’ But as much as my stubborn self hates to admit it, it’s true.

Really, there are so many people in the world. Don’t waste your time on someone who’s standing you up or constantly flaking out at the last minute and doesn’t seem like they give a flying fuck about you. (Unless they genuinely have a good reason to be flaky).

Don’t settle. Each and every one of you is worthy and deserving of respect.

Look, it sucks. I’m not gonna lie. When you really like someone or care about them and then you slowly notice them withdrawing or seeming like they don’t care about what you’re saying anymore/ aren’t interested it totally sucks. When you get stood up or you’re excited for plans and they get cancelled last minute just like they always are, it sucks. And it’s upsetting. Realising that they don’t care as much as you sucks. And you’ll probably miss some of them and think about them from time to time.

But people are people, right. People aren’t really obligated to spend time with you, and if they don’t want to they won’t. That’s okay. It’s normal. You can hate them all you want for it but it won’t do jack shit.

What you can do is take control of the way you feel.

Easier said than done, I know. But realising this is the first step.

Regards,

K.

First (successful) Roll of 35mm Film

So, I’m back with a new update on my amateur film exploits.

I have gotten 2 rolls of film developed in the past week.

The first roll, which I am not showing in this article (but maybe will post eventually for fellow amateurs so that if their first roll of film comes out shite they won’t feel as bad) was a failure of epic proportions. I’m not entirely sure what happened to it but all the pictures came out black with some weird blue reflection on it. I mean it looked kind of cool but it isn’t something I want to keep happening, you know. A couple pictures worked on the top half and the bottom half was black and blue.

So I was hopeful that my camera wasn’t a dud since some of the pictures sort of worked. The problem with the ones that did kinda work was that the exposure was waaaay too high. Which is kind of to be expected considering I had absolutely no idea what I was doing and wasn’t using the light meter. It’s all part of the learning process.

Anyway, I probably should have started writing down the settings I used so that I could figure out what I was doing and how I need to alter it for next time but to be completely honest I couldn’t be arsed to do that. I tend to just wing it most of the time.

After the first roll of developed film, I was really bloody nervous to put in another roll to get developed. I tried to use different settings this time and slower shutter speeds. I was dreading that my camera was a dud and I would have to buy a new one and keep that one for decorative purposes. I had grown rather attached to the ole thing over the past 2 weeks and the thought of it not being the camera that I learned on really bummed me out. I knew it was a possibility considering the mirror is sort of dodgy at times and I bought it for around a hundred bucks on eBay.

But to my great surprise and happiness, the pictures actually freaking worked! I was so fucking relieved opening up that folder and looking at actual images. Thank god, I thought. Now I don’t have to blow my money on a new camera.

That’s not to say the pictures are objectively good. They’re kind of shit. Which is also to be expected. Most of them are blurry. But some of them I quite like.

So here is a few of the ones that I like out of the lot;

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Excuse the blurriness. This is my kitchen, I think the light looks pretty cool.
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An even shittier picture of my kitchen. The colours are nice though. It has some redeeming qualities.
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Clearly I have some sort of fascination with my kitchen light. This picture is totally messed up but the light trails look cool. I was using a rather slow shutter speed and I forgot that you have to stay still. Whoops. Oh well.
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Wow, an actual picture. It’s still out of focus and kind of blurry but I think it looks pretty neat. I put it in black and white because I felt like it looks cooler that way.
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This is probably the best one of the lot. Also in black and white for DRAMATIC EFFECT.

So, there you have it. My first successful 35mm film photographs.

Until next time,

K.

How NOT To Cut Your Own Hair.

Greetings, I am here with a somewhat humorous new life lesson.

Now, for all of you people out there who’ve had a fringe (or bangs for you Americans) you have probably encountered a time in your life in which you had to trim your own bangs.

I’ve had a fringe plenty of times during my life. Most of those times, however, I was a child and my mother cut my fringe for me. Or a hairdresser cut it. Anyway, point is I’ve only had to do it myself a couple times.

This most recent time was a bit of a disaster. You see, I was about to go out that day. I washed my hair and had a shower, and when I got out I became frustrated at how the hair was poking me in the eyes. I had to leave for the bus in about 40 minutes, but I decided to cut them quickly before I left.

This was mistake no.1.

Never cut your fringe if you are about to go out/have little time to get ready. It almost certainly will end badly. You’re rushing, thinking ‘Ah, crap! The bus comes in 36 minutes and I haven’t even started getting dressed!’ and consequently you will do a half arsed job. You will probably look at it and see how uneven it is, but not have time to fix it.

Of course, I was not aware of my mistake at this current point in the narrative, so the story must go on. Now, because I take really hot showers – the window was absolutely covered in condensation. I couldn’t see for shit. I also was not wearing my glasses, so I actually couldn’t see.

This is mistake no.2. 

Do not attempt to cut your hair if your mirror is not clean/clear, or if you are not wearing glasses/contacts and you need them. Look, I know wearing glasses and cutting your fringe is a pain in the arse. All those tiny hairs get stuck around your eyes or on your nose. Your bloody glasses are in the way of your hand. But really, it’s better than having your fringe look like a damn zigzag cos you couldn’t see if it was even.

Now, some genuine advice/mistake no.3. 

If you are cutting your fringe with wet hair, you need to take that into account. Wet hair looks a hell of a lot longer than it actually is. So don’t cut it to exactly where you want it to be when it’s wet, ‘cos it’s gonna dry and get shorter. Look, you can always cut it shorter when it’s dry. You can’t make it longer once it’s gone. Also, if it’s dry and you’re cutting it, don’t pull the hair taught. ‘Cos that’s not how it’s gonna sit on your forehead and then you’ll chop it and let it go and it’ll be short as hell.

Trust me, I am out here looking like Jim Carrey from Dumb & Dumber right now.jim-carrey-lloyd-christmas-dumb-and-dumber

Tragic.

Now, if you want to get inventive, you can try blend out the sides and have some longer pieces so it doesn’t look like ole Jim up there with the square shape. When I successfully have cut my hair in the past (which I have, despite this unfortunate mishap I am generally alright at cutting my own hair.) I usually do the sides by just using the scissors on an angle. It seems to work.

Oh and one more thing – don’t use rusty scissors. That was mistake no.4. You don’t have to have some fancy arsed scissors, just don’t use crappy ones that you can barely open.

 

Reasons I Love Sending Mail + Outgoing Snail Mail.

So, something that I’ve been doing recently – i.e. over the past couple months – is writing letters again. There are so many reasons why I love writing letters, and over the course of my teenage years I kind of forgot about them. I guess with phones you don’t really need to write them anymore, y’know.

I remember back when I was a kid me and my friends used to send each other letters. We would play a game where one of us would draw out an empty comic strip and fill in one panel and mail it. Then the other person would fill in the next one and mail it back and we’d eventually end up with our own story. It was a hell of a lot of fun.

I think the whole process of sending mail is so much fun and so exciting. When you send someone a letter you have to sit down and think about what to say, as opposed to being able to send whatever random stuff you come up with at any second via instant messaging. I mean really, you could type out all your thoughts and text them to someone as you thought of them if you really wanted to and could type fast enough. I think having to stop and think about it makes the letter more meaningful in a way. It’s so exciting going and buying nice stamps and envelopes. Each letter is sort of like a little work of art and I always find it somewhat bittersweet letting them go. Having said that, I’m somewhat overly sentimental.

I mean what is one of the most personal things about a person. Their handwriting – right? Everyone has a distinguishable script that is uniquely theirs. When you write someone a letter they get your handwriting. That sounds weird but you know what I mean. They can keep it forever if they’d like and it’s unique, not some font that anyone can print out.

(Geez, I’m waffling today aren’t I. I just love writing letters.) Anyway, another thing I love about writing letters is the way you can add little drawings or photos or pressed flowers etc. etc. (you get the gist) to them. And hey, how bloody exciting is it getting a letter in the mail! It feels like it’s your birthday.

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This is the latest letter I’ve sent out. I included some pressed flowers.

Well, that’s my spiel over with.

P.S. If any of you lovely people reading this also enjoy sending letters and you’ve got a couple minutes to spare, it’d be cool if you commented and told me some things you enjoy about sending/receiving mail! I’d be interested to read about other people’s experiences and thoughts.

P.P.S. For those of you who do follow me (thanks by the way), I’m thinking Saturday mornings (my time, which is probably a different time zone to you guys’) is going to be my main posting time. But if I have random personal life updates like this post on letters for example or updates on my amateur camera exploits I shall update more frequently. It’s a little all over the place at the moment but hey, I’m just starting out. Gotta get in the groove y’know. Find my rhythm. You get the point. I just thought I’d throw this in as an afterthought.

Til next time,

K.

I Bought My First Film Camera

Hello!

Apologies in advance; this is a rather wordy post. I think most of mine will be – I have a bit of a tendency to ramble.

So, for a very long time I have been interested in photography but never really took it up. I suppose in a way I am rather easily amused – I find lots of mundane daily things cool/beautiful.

When I was 15-ish years old, I got one of those cute pastel coloured Fuji-film instant cameras for my birthday. I have shitloads of photos I’ve taken on that camera, I keep them in boxes and I write little notes on the white frame with a sharpie. I found it so exciting not knowing how the picture would turn out. Sometimes you get cool blotches on the pictures or weird light leaks. I even did some double exposures on it at one point. (They were terrible, but hey, at least it worked. I was pretty bloody excited.) We live in a world where everything is so fast. Technology is advancing so quickly and a lot of things are right at our fingertips. Especially with digital photography and smart phones in particular. I mean, it’s great how easy it is to take pictures. Virtually anyone can do it. But what I enjoyed so much about instant film is that you only get to take one shot. It’s not like your phone where you can do a burst and take 10+ pictures in a fraction of a second. You have to really think about the moments. It makes them feel more special in a way.

I also like the fact that they don’t turn out perfect. ‘Cos hey, life isn’t perfect.

Anyways. Now, I really love the 1960s and 70s. A lot of my favourite bands came out of those decades. When I would look at the cool photos of those bands or even just street photography from back then I felt inspired. I decided I wanted to get a film camera so I could take pictures the way those photographers did. So, I bought one.

My Camera: 

The camera I bought was rather cheap. I got it off of eBay for around a hundred bucks. It came with a leather case and a light meter. I have no idea how to use the light meter so I’ve sort of cast it aside for now while I get the basics down.

The brand is Ihagee, it’s a German brand. My particular camera is an Exa II-b. They were manufactured between 1964 and 1966. So my camera is pretty bloody old.

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This is not my exact camera, I just nicked this picture off of google images. Mine has a different lens. But this is an Exa II-b.

It’s a really beautiful camera. I was so excited when I got it in the mail. Gotta say though, it smells old. Especially the case. I gave it a good clean.

The camera is fully functional except for some minor issues with the mirror. It gets stuck sometimes when I press the shutter and I have to remove the lens and manually pull it down each time I take a picture. It’s not because it’s sticking to the foam, so I dunno why it’s happening. It seems alright on slower shutter speeds. It probably needs to warm up, god knows how long it’s been since it was last used. (Judging by that classic musty smell, I’d say quite a while.) And to be honest, it’s not a big enough issue for me to want to go pay and get it repaired. Not yet anyway.

Learning How to Use it: 

I’ll be honest. I’ve already wasted an entire roll of film. I’m a complete noob. I really have absolutely no idea what I’m doing. I’ve never used a proper camera before besides my phone or that aforementioned instant camera. But not knowing is half the fun. (The other half is frustration coupled with some mild disappointment.)

Now, I can’t be bothered to write a how-to guide. Maybe if people were interested and I manage to figure it out, I’ll write one. A simple one for people like me who’ve got no clue.

Loading the film was a right pain in the arse, but it was so exciting. I’m using a 3 pack of Kodak Ultramax colour film. The ISO is 400. It was around 20 bucks. I got it at Big W. I know you can also get it at Kmart. I’m probably going to just keep using this film until I actually know what I’m doing.

I wasted a bunch of it trying to put it in the take up spool. I even ripped some of it. Whoops. I’m pretty sure those first few pictures would have been blank since they were all exposed and I forgot to advance the film twice. But man. The satisfaction I felt when I finally got it in properly and it was moving along when I wound it up was awesome. I felt like a child on Christmas morning.

Now, sometimes I am a bit of a goof. About half way through the roll I decided to open the back of the camera and check if it was working. I probably lost a good few shots there.

The real kicker was that at the end, somehow I completely messed up rewinding the film. I must have turned it the wrong way – I thought it was going the right way but whatever. Instead of it winding back up into the film canister, it wound completely out of there and onto the take up spool. So when I opened it I exposed the entire roll film to light, since it was just all out there. I tried to put it back in the canister inside my closet with the curtains drawn but alas, I couldn’t get it back in. Rest in peace, my first roll of film. I don’t think any of those pictures are salvageable. I kept it anyway, in the light proof plastic container it came in.

Better luck next time. I put a new roll of film in and it was so much easier second time around. Fingers crossed I can get the film out safely. I’m so intrigued to know what my first developed roll of pictures will look like.

Well, that’s it for now.

I shall update again on my amateur photography endeavours in the near future.

 

First Post – An Introduction of Sorts

Well, here we are. First post.

Hi, to whoever might be reading this.

I see a lot of blogs/social media pages etc. and I’m always amazed at how perfect people’s lives seem. It’s easy to do that on the internet.

You (the reader) only get to see what I (the writer) choose to show you. It’s the same with reading books. I often find that my ability to relate to characters in books is hindered by the way they seem unrealistically flawless.

Anyway. So I guess I’m going to write about normal life in all its glory. The embarrassing stuff, the good stuff, the shitty stuff. I shall attempt to show you the truth.

The name (sort of – I’ll get to that later.) is shit I wish I knew. Things I wish I could tell myself a couple years ago. Things I wish I could have told my friends. I guess in a way it’s like advice. And sorta one of those corny coming of age stories. (I am, after all, 18 years old.)

But I also will be occasionally talking about things going on in MY life currently or things from the past. Because why not.

I’ve always loved to read, and loved the idea of writing a novel. Unfortunately, I have a relatively short attention span. I get about 20 pages in and want to write something else. I don’t know how authors can do it! Takes real dedication.

Perhaps one day I’ll write that story…

Anyway. I have toyed with the idea of a blog since I was in my early teens. I could never think of what I wanted to write about. All the blogs I read had such cool subject matter. I guess in a way I didn’t want to commit to one type of blog. After some thought and impulse decision making, I decided to make this blog. I figured, what’s the one thing I know best?

Myself. My life. My experiences.

What’s something I’m relatively good at? (Apparently – I mean I get a lot of people coming to me for it.)

Giving people advice.

So what the hell, why don’t I just write about that?

Now, I know the website name of this blog is a bit long and weird. I wanted it to be ‘shit I wish I knew’ but alas, that was taken. the only option it was giving me was one with a whole bunch of numbers afterwards. Who on earth is going to remember to type all those in?!

If I really wanted that username, I had to pay for it. It was pretty cheap, but hey.

I’m pretty damn broke. I also just started this blog on a whim, so it would be a bit rash to decide to subscribe to some regular payment thing. Thus, we have the birth of my domain name. ‘imtoobrokeformyowndomain’

Step one in being realistic, eh?

Well, that’s all for now.

I’ll write again soon.

P.S. (I’m signing off like a letter cos I feel like any other way is too abrupt.)

Regards,

ME.

(must retain some level of anonymity. For now anyway.)